Monday 10 September 2012

F1 - Lewis hits back at criticism: "Is it cos I is a prat?"

I can remember where I was when Kennedy was shot - at home, watching television. I can also remember where I was when the planes hit the twin towers. I was at work and the news was brought to us by a particularly unreliable person. This person, a partner in the firm, more of a sleeping partner and a dead drunk partner whose clients could never get hold of him. In other words, when he waltzed in, mid-morning, to tell us the news about 9/11 my first reaction was, "He's a dick and he's made it up".

This is to point out that the messenger should always be someone you can trust. On Lewis Hamilton and his putative break with McLaren and move to Mercedes, I was keen to listen to the people who have weight and credibility in the same way that if Moira Stuart told us that the Russians were coming, I would pack my bag.

From now on, if you don't follow Formula One Grands Prix, most of this will be unintelligible, as will the in-jokes.

A recent trawl through the quotes from former world champions, on the subject of Lewis Hamilton, all amounted to one thing; he is immature and not a team player. Nicki Lauda went as far as to suggest he was morbidly dangerous. Of course, what is most interesting is the tendency, when pundits are talking about Lewis, to cite other drivers as being "mature". And it is what the team principals don't say and the way they say it that leads me to suppose that Lewis is about to leave McLaren.

Let's get Eddie Jordan out of the way first. (Many would like to). Eddie, despite his uber-vain sartorial taste, is no fool. So ok, he looks like a Thunderbirds puppet but he ran a successful F1 team and now sails the seven seas in a boat that would probably need the Ark Royal as a tender. He did a very newsworthy interview with Bernie Ecclestone in which Bernie let slip that MSC was leaving Mercedes. And that set the ball rolling on the present Lewis saga. He is clearly in the loop when it comes to gossip around the paddock.

Cut now to the recent interviews with McLaren Team Principal, Martin Whitmarsh. It was not so much MW damning LH with faint praise as signing his death warrant. Whitmarsh's BBC interview after the race at Monza was the decider for me. If My boss were talking like that about me I would be crapping myself. If my wife of 17 years were talking about me like that I would be expecting a divorce in the post.

They all of course try to put a positive spin on the situation but as they say, you can't polish a turd.

So, unless I am very much mistaken, I am predicting that Lewis Hamilton will leave McLaren and since neither Red Bull nor Ferrari are interested (see?) it looks like Mercedes.

Some time at the beginning of the season Lewis invited some black female pop star into the pit garage at McLaren. The place was crawling with her "entourage" - lots of very fat blobby bodyguard types with a lot of jewellery. The odd glance from the team mechanics told the story.

Lewis thinks he is a rock star. He is generally sweetness and light when he is winning and a pain in the arse when he isn't. A more petulant, immature driver cannot be found in a sport where petulance and immaturity are just another button on the steering wheel.

So Lewis, I'm not having ago "cos you is black". Indeed you have a white mother and a father who you seem to disrespect. I am having a go because you are a prat and if you carry on like this you will only be remembered for being a prat and not the great driver you are.

PS

Team of the weekend for me is Sauber. It's all working for them despite the occasional bit of bad luck. They are on course for the team's first F1 win, if not this year, definitely in 2013.

Question: why do the BBC's F1 commentary boys all wear such tiny tight trousers? Jake Humphry's look as though they were acquired from ASDA's "Back to School" range.


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