Waitrose has had a marketing campaign backfire, or, in modern argot, a massive fail. The store invited people to respond to an online scheme to answer the question: "I shop at Waitrose because.."
Answers ranged from "I shop at Waitrose because it makes me feel important and I absolutely detest being surrounded by poor people" to "I will not stand next to scumbags in Marks and Spencer". I don't live near enough to use a Waitrose, but when I did I frequently got elbowed out of the way by overbearing women with a sense of entitlement. And you never knew, if someone brayed the word, "lettuce" whether they were demanding salad or admonishing their offspring.
Supermarket shopping is a minefield. Mainly because by no stretch of the imagination is it ever "Super". So here is a rough guide for those housewives who want to please their man and provide delicious treats for him after his hard day at work.
Marks and Spencer
Not really a supermarket at all, rather a place to ponder the meaning of life. (I never realised how vital pink peppercorns and smoked sea salt were.) Tip: Go around M&S and take note of all the clever things they do with Bulgar Wheat, and then go home and replicate the recipe. It's the most serene supermarket there is and you pay a premium, but none of it gets wasted.
ASDA
I must admit that even as a snob I find Asda remarkable. The choice is incredible and the prices are keen. The check-out people at our local are chosen for being interesting and entertaining. I never tire of engaging them in conversation. Shopping in Asda is like eating Fugu, the puffer fish that has to be prepared by specially trained chefs so that it does not poison you. Either you risk being run over by the morbidly obese on their mobility scooters or someone will look at you and cough in your face. This happens to me every time I go there and it is frightening, but you get a huge rush when you realise days later that you have not died of TB.
Tesco
I would rather vote Liberal Democrat than use Tesco. Everything about it is bad. I have seen their potatoes sprout faster than I can get them home. Ours fills up with school-kids every lunch time and they create havoc without let or hindrance. The stuff Tesco sells is only just ok, but since they try and make you buy three of everything, usually stuff that goes off, it is ultimately a waste of money.
Ubermarkets
Lidl and Aldi. The chattering classes appear to adore them. I don't know why. The range of choice is poor and they are not particularly cheap. Exceptions are things like fake Birkenstocks, the real thing costing £40 and their knock-off ones are a fiver. I have worn both and there is not a haporth of difference. You could save money in Ubermarkets, but you may as well go to Asda and get their cheapy range.
Sainsburys
Sainsburys is a 30-mile round trip for me so I rarely go. When I do, I generally find it is not a wasted journey. They don't move things around so often, either, so you can find what you want. Their Free-Range chicken is the best supermarket option, bar none. I buy thigh fillets for curries - much more flavour and not expensive, especially if you have to cook for a lot of people.
The Co-op
Sadly the Co-ops around here are pretty dismal, made worse by shelf-fillers with Porton Down style body odour. Not so in Switzerland. (More on abroad later). The Co-op has its market, which appears to be aimed at people who don't care what they eat. End of story. Distress purchases only.
Going Abroad
Here my experience is very limited. The Co-op in Switzerland is absolutely fine. Marvellous, as is the Swiss equivalent of Happy Shopper - Pam. Both offer groceries that would not look out of place in Fortnum's.
Migros is hugely popular and it is also run as a cooperative. It also happens to be the largest employer in Switzerland with more than twice as many workers than the Federal Government. The Coop is second highest employer. The Swiss go there once a month to buy washing powder in boxes so large that you can later donate them to a family of Romanians to live in.
I would be interested to know your shopping favourites and hates, especially if you shop abroad.
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