For a long time I have promised to make the consumption of beer a totally cost-free experience. Indeed I have previously given you a "cast iron guarantee". Well, there are other parties who are promising free beer and I admit their manifesto is attractive, but honestly, who would want to vote for a party of beer drinkers.? Some of them even smoke!
Believe it or not, there are people out there who think it is absurd to give overseas aid to countries who can afford their own space program or those whose GDP is greater than our own. There are people out there who think it is wrong to keep violent criminals and terrorists in this country instead of deporting them to their own, in case it violates their human rights. Indeed, our friends in Europe want us to take more people from poorer countries and in order to do these things I am afraid we shall have to either borrow more money, or take it from your pocket.
Well, I know none of this is popular, but we have to be seen to not be the "nasty" party, whatever the cost and frankly, it is easier to raid your piggy bank than to take some very difficult decisions.
However, the news is not all bad. I accept that you, the voter, must have a choice and that you need what you might call an incentive to continue to trust in us and I know that many of you do trust us and do believe me implicitly.
So, I am promising free beer. Tomorrow.
Nigel Farage wears ladies panties and kills fluffy kittens.(BBC)
(Just mentioned in the interests of truth and electoral clarity, coincidentally just a few days before the election)
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